June 6, 2025

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

From the minute Mike wakes up until he lays his head down to rest, he is dependent on others to assist him. Think about everything you require or simply want to do during the day. Now, imagine you need to wait for someone to help you before you can do any of it.

From styling your hair a certain way to deciding you’re hungry and wanting to fix yourself something to eat, or simply grabbing a drink to forgetting something in the room you just left. You are at the mercy of another person’s time and willingness to help. And then there’s the fact that no one ever wants to feel like a burden. Needless to say, as Mike confides in me at the end of the difficult days, right now, life sucks.

But it’s not going to be like this forever.

This has become my mantra to him when he appears down or expresses feelings of defeat when dealing with a setback. And I make sure he repeats it back to me. It’s important he be allowed to feel what he’s feeling and mourn his losses but not stay in that place too long where it may hold his mindset hostage and never let go.

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The Good

Therapy is finally truly underway. The OT/speech therapist, Christy, is quite wonderful. She connects so well with Mike and her impressive experience and knowledge flash like bright neon signs as she talks and works with him. I was lucky enough to sit in on a session this week and she explained with seamless precision how the stroke has affected Mike’s brain from Day 1.

The scary parts were hard to listen to. We’ve heard it before from the doctors and nurses but it never gets easier to hear the words said out loud.

The fact that the type of stroke he had is the most serious and damaging type because of blood being where it should not be.
The extensive brain cell damage.
The future risk of another stroke.
The risk of seizures for the next year.
The uncertainty of progress.
The statistics for a full recovery

But as if ripping off a band-aid to get it over with, she quickly said her piece, then focused enthusiastically on the good part.

Studies have shown that the brain can continue to heal and recover for years and years after a stroke.

But wait, there’s more.

The doctors have determined that Mike’s visual deficit is definitely the common type of visual field loss seen following stroke. His loss affects one‐half of the visual field in both eyes which is called hemianopsia. They have ruled out a visual “field cut” which would be a permanent loss in an area of vision. In time, his vision should restore back to normal.

Thank you, God 🙏

(Writer’s note: Mike has reported a decrease in seeing images of children and cats that aren’t there. Now, when he says he sees cats, they are actually our very own Suzie-Q and Johnny ❤️)

In PT, Sue, another wonderful therapist, is working on ensuring Mike can move about safely and functionally in the house. And as of late, he’s been able to lift his left arm from his lap up onto the armrest of the couch. It’s very purposeful and requires great concentration and effort. But the more he practices, the easier it should get.

He has a TENS unit that he wears throughout the day to stimulate the muscles in his left arm. The brain is recognizing that left side again. Mike will look to his left more and more without prompting. Repetition is key.

Although Sue was able to get approval to come 3x/week for the next couple of weeks, she told us to get Mike on the waitlist now for outpatient rehab at Sunnyview. She was very honest about what home PT is. It’s not acute like he needs. It’s strictly to help ensure Mike can navigate the house and accomplish daily activities of living safely.

The Bad

One of the more distressing effects of the stroke is the left side droop of Mike’s face. He’s very self-conscious about this. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be. We all have our vanity. Christy is teaching him how to work those muscles to combat the droop. Using a spoon inside the left cheek, he pushes it out, then makes an “O” with his lips to pull it back in. He also massages it, pushing it upwards. Muscle memory will take over eventually.

The Ugly

Mike took a tumble off the chair on Monday bending forward. He cut his head and jammed his neck. It really scared him. He’s okay but he’s learning the hard way to ask for more help.

Mike’s back is causing him excruciating pain. He is still waiting for approval from the insurance for the nerve ablation. The idea is that that will destroy the nerve causing his pain. Getting out of bed is becoming more difficult with every passing day. He desperately needs to be more mobile and start walking. He’s going stir-crazy sitting in the house all day. He needs to feel useful. This is in his DNA and he’s suffering just as much from the lack of purpose as he is from the physical pain.
On top of all of this, the doctor decided now is the time to start weaning him off his pain meds. I hate to say it but I’m going to. This is exactly why we have a drug epidemic in this country.

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Aside from writing, I find comfort in my running and in prayer. Giving these troubles to God is a huge burden off my mind and heart. I would not be sane right now if I kept this all to myself. I know God is with Mike every day. I trust He is healing Mike. I know it without a doubt.

Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”.