“Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.” – Rose Kennedy

From the day we are born to the day we die, it’s the moments in between that make up life.

But what is a moment, really? Perhaps, the best comparison would be saying it’s like taking that screenshot of something we need to capture quickly. It’s gone almost as fast as it arrives.

Each moment building onto another, allowing us to piggyback from one experience to the next.

And leading us to people and places that we may never have found but for where those fleeting moments brought us in time.

It’s funny how when we are children, it feels like we will never get to that day of complete independence. Then, suddenly, we are turning 18 and fondly looking back on the waterfall of moments that deposited us so abruptly into adulthood.

I think it’s safe to say that most of us end up spending our later years nostalgically remembering those cherished moments.

And if we are lucky enough, we can recognize early on the pivotal moments in our lives that had a lasting impact. Like the time we met the person who would one day become our best friend or when we were first introduced to our future spouse.

Instinctively and, somewhat, defensively, we hold tight to those precious moments in life, forever preserving them in our memories for they will help us navigate difficult times and painful losses in future years to come.

***

It is officially less than 90 days until the momentous occasion of our wedding. Everything is in place and invitations will be going out by the end of January.

I am slowly getting settled into Mike’s house (still weird to call it my house but I’ll get there) and feeling much more relaxed. I’ve put some of my little touches on things and I’m able to enjoy more leisure time on the weekends.

Life is feeling a bit more carefree, the air a bit thinner. I can look forward with a new perspective to the coming spring and all of the hope it brings.

I relish the quiet moments with Mike, just sharing space and time together.

Truly living in each moment with him. Exploring every corner of it. Taking nothing for granted.

***

Today was a very important doctor’s appointment. It was a follow-up with Dr. Doyle, the physical medicine rehabilitation specialist who I’ve spoken of in a past blog.

Mike walked into his office this time with a cane. No wheelchair.

It was a special moment filled with pride and joy.

Dr. Doyle immediately commented on how well Mike presented compared to just three months ago, especially his affect. Mike looks lighter emotionally, is the only way I can describe it.

Physically, he’s come extremely far. On exam, Dr. Doyle was very pleased to see that Mike has progressed well with his arm movement and declared that there is huge potential for more.

He happily announced that Mike is a perfect candidate for Botox treatments. He sketched out a plan right in front of us and will start implementing that on February 10th!

A pivotal moment, indeed!

It’s what we’ve been praying for.

Dr. Doyle approved Botox for the arm as well as the leg. So what’s happening is Mike’s muscle tone is fighting him, basically. The harder he tries to move and use his arm, the tighter the muscles clench.

The plan consists of Botox injections at precise locations in the muscles which will relax that tone, thus, freeing up the arm, hand and fingers to move (and hopefully, someday, move as fast as Mike’s brain can send the signal).

Although Mike is walking well, he gets stiffness in his knee and also has a condition known as drop foot where his left foot gets “stuck”, which potentially could cause him to trip. Botox in the quad muscle as well as the calf muscle will help relax both of those areas.

Dr. Doyle also mentioned that the effectiveness of the treatments will last about three to four months, and as we see what dose works in each location, it can be adjusted and enhanced. He described further available treatments down the road.

This is just the beginning! There are many modalities available to try and Dr. Doyle is set on doing whatever he can to help Mike.

***

As a follow-up to where I left off in my last blog, the Sunnyview Outpatient team met with Mike and I recently about his discharge. They also allowed our private therapist, Dr. Jaycee Barry, to attend. She advocated for continued therapy and even asked pointed questions of the therapists if they felt it was appropriate to discharge him three months shy of his being one year post stroke.

Of course, on the record, they said they feel he’s plateaued and needs a therapeutic break. But the director of the program (who also happened to be Jaycee’s teacher back in school) pulled her aside and said it is insurance-driven and they will gladly invite him back for an evaluation in a few months to see if he can benefit from more outpatient therapy.

All of our arguments were heard but they will proceed with discharge at the end of this month, regardless.

No matter.

Mike will continue to work towards his goals, the biggest one being to walk without a cane for the wedding.

***

For now, Mike and I are counting down the days until we say those two words in the presence of God and all of our family and friends.

It is a much anticipated moment.

We are hoping the days will slow down a bit. Time is moving too fast as it seems to always do.

Mike reports having more days where walking comes naturally and he doesn’t even think twice about it. He is eager for that feeling to take over completely.

I reassure him that he will get there.

Any moment now.