“And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:18,2

***

When my sister and I decided to run the Berlin marathon, it was also the perfect honeymoon trip for me and Mike. Given Mike’s German roots, he’s always wanted to go. And to top it all off, it would fall during Oktoberfest! Couldn’t get better than that!

But…

We knew it would be a challenging trip as well. International travel is stressful. Airports are crazy and huge and overwhelming. And although Mike is able to walk very well with his cane, he needs time to get to where he’s going… and lots of breaks.

Wheelchair service was a necessity at the airports and he accepted that. And without it, I honestly don’t know what we would have done. A trip of this magnitude just would not have been possible. They got us through customs in less than five minutes allowing us to bypass the long lines. That alone was a huge blessing!

As far as navigating the beautiful country of Germany, the cities of Berlin and Munich were extremely walkable. The streets were clean and there were nicely maintained sidewalks. Still, we Uber’ed more often than not. Walking everywhere is just not an option for us right now.

The hard slap of reality hit us on this trip. And boy, did it sting. We couldn’t help but think back to our trips to Nevada and Chicago and New York City where we walked and walked to our hearts content.

Ubering everywhere just plain stinks.

To keep expectations somewhat managed, if not grounded, I encouraged Mike to employ one of the strategies I’ve learned from running marathons, and that is to stay mentally where your feet are, or “stay in the mile”.

Most things that challenge us in life become a mental game. It’s so easy to quickly fall into a negative mindset.

But the only way to get through it is to go through it. Coming out unscathed is the tricky part.

For Mike, that means accepting where he is at this moment in time. What used to be a 5-minute walk is now a 20-minute walk. Exhaustion sets in quickly. And then that opens him up to a multitude of things ranging from bad posture to a bad fall and possibly a bad injury.

And I just won’t let that happen.

Over the summer, Mike and his therapist worked on building up his endurance to stand and walk for longer periods of time. This was all in preparation for our trip.

Building endurance takes time. And patience.

Oodles and oodles of patience.

And the end result? A huge success for Mike.

The only time he used a wheelchair throughout the trip was at the airports.

We did everything we wanted to do in Germany.

Oktoberfest was crazy crowded and there was no sitting at all. We were there for about two and a half hours. Mike did great! We walked throughout that whole day and stood for hours, and he had no issues.

***

The only thing Mike wasn’t able to do in Germany that he wanted was come cheer me on at the marathon and see me at the finish. He wanted to have a Coca-Cola waiting for me like he did in past races (a lovely tradition started by the one and only KP 🙂

***

Throughout our adventures in Germany, Mike never fell, never stumbled, never struggled.

And never complained.

He was slow but steady.

Whenever his posture started to slump, I let him know and he immediately corrected himself. And when we could sit and take a break, we did.

A large part of his success was allowing me to have the final say on what I felt we could handle together and what I felt was too much. He respected my opinion on everything.

That was our agreement before we left for Germany and he honored that.

***

We had a wonderful honeymoon. The weather was gorgeous throughout our trip. We enjoyed romantic dinners, intimate talks, quiet reflection and gratitude.

***

It was real quality time. No household chores, no work. Just relaxation and time together.

The food in Germany was delicious. We tried some popular German food while also having great Italian, Asian and Mexican food as well. But the biggest thing for me was the pretzels! I am a pretzel person big-time! Everywhere you went, they had soft Bavarian pretzels and there was never a bad one.

And much like when I was in Italy, everyone serves Coca-Cola in Germany. I was in my glory!

***

When Mike and I first met, as we got to know each other, I had some very important questions that he needed to answer. It was kind of like my “application” process in vetting a prospective candidate for the open position in my life of “future partner”.

I tried to make it fun while throwing in some serious questions as well.

Politically, he mostly passed…

I say it that way because his initial answer was my deal-breaker. (big fail)

But then I proceeded to ask him what I call “good human being” questions and, luckily, he passed with flying colors.

Then came some pretty important questions…

Coke or Pepsi?

Burger King or McDonald’s?

LOL.

It sounds silly but it’s usually the little things that cause friction in a relationship.

I grew up liking Burger King more than McDonald’s and liking Coca-Cola more than Pepsi. His answers to those questions reaffirmed our off-the-chart compatability score.

We had a fun courtship. He would surprise me with buying tickets to concerts and comedy shows. He was always so generous treating me to dinners and fun events. Weekends at his cabin to go hiking in the mountains of Lake Placid was a major highlight of our time together.

I would give him an anniversary card for every month we were together during the first year. I was big on sending text messages that would give clues as to a surprise I was planning or something I’d hidden at his house for him to find.

I’d say things like, “Your mission, should you choose to accept it” or “We interrupt this program to bring you this important message”, and give him a fun fact or task to do on a date.

We watched scary movies almost every evening. We enjoyed planning our Halloween costumes and going to fun holiday parties.

We did so much in the almost two years we were together before the stroke. In hindsight, it was as if we somehow knew we needed to make up for lost time. Not knowing what the hand of fate had in store for us, we both feel so lucky that we had those experiences early on.

***

Recently, two of my good friends reminded me of my words a couple years back saying that I was done running marathons.

Honestly, I did feel that way after running Chicago. That was going to be my last marathon.

Of course, I had lots of reasons why.

Mike and I were dating and spending a lot of time hiking. I had tried my first Spartan race with him and we were looking at doing more of those. I just didn’t feel I could do all of that and continue training for marathons. I prefer the half marathon distance, although it’s not as satisfying as finishing a full marathon. And on and on.

But then the stroke happened.

It changed everything.

I realized how quickly things can be taken away from you without warning. Suddenly, you can no longer do something that you really enjoy doing.

After seeing Mike go through this last year and a half fighting to walk again and regain the abilities he’s lost, it made me think…

If I can run marathons, then I should.

Mike would.

If he could.

***

During the Berlin marathon, I struggled with the heat and feeling nauseous. The sun was mercilessly beating down on us for the whole 26.2 miles. And about a hundred feet or so into the start of the race, I felt a weird twinge of pain on the inner part of my left knee. It messed with me mentally for the first five miles.

I just prayed and prayed for strength and to feel better. I didn’t tell my sister what was happening. I didn’t want to give it power. But she knew something was amiss.

I thought of Mike and how every day, he works so hard just to walk and do activities of daily living. It gave me the strength I needed to keep going.

There were water stations every 2 miles. And after about mile 8, there were fire trucks spraying us with water every 4 miles. Huge game-changer.

God was at work giving me what I needed when I needed it.

By the halfway point, I wasn’t feeling nauseous anymore and the little twinge of pain on the side of my knee was gone.

I finished strong feeling great physically, mentally and emotionally. EVERY runner’s goal!

***

Life is like a marathon. But if you only focus on the finish line, you will miss the miles in between. And you will lose the opportunity to grow from your struggles along the way and appreciate all that it took to cross that finish line.

And just look at this beautiful finisher’s medal!

Of course, at the finish line of life, there is something much more valuable than a medal that awaits us.

But God isn’t just hanging around the finish line of the marathon. He’s there through every mile, through every struggle, through every defeat and every victory.

God was there on the bathroom floor with Mike while he suffered the stroke.

And He was there by Mike’s side as he started to walk again three months later.

God has set quite the race in front of all of us.

I can just picture crossing that golden finish line of life…

God waiting with open arms to greet me…

And maybe…

…just maybe…

He’ll be holding a Coca-Cola. ❤️